Develop Self Compassion: Meditation instructions for working with the breath

by Mahala Mazerov · 16 comments

Photography as Meditation: The Friday Flower. Sometimes just photos. Sometimes with writing. Appearing on Fridays.

compassion for the layers © 2009 - 2010 Mahala Mazerov

Sometimes it’s easier to have more compassion for others than we have for ourselves.

We have feelings we think we shouldn’t have. We have prejudices we wish we didn’t have. We act in ways that disappoint or embarrass us.

Instead of pushing these down, denying them, or venting against others, we have another choice. We can work with the breath and bring our attention to these unwanted feelings.

We can practice compassionate abiding.

Here are simple meditation instructions:

When something difficult comes up, in the very moment of experience, let yourself feel whatever you are feeling. Make contact with those unwanted guests. Be completely open to them without trying to change them in any way.

At the same time, breathe in. There’s no need to force it to be a certain way. Just let your breath be as it is.

Relax any judgment you may have about what you’re feeling. Just as you’re letting your breath be what it is, let your experience be what it is, too.

When you breathe out, see if you can give your feelings more space to exist. Like throwing the windows wide open to air out a stuffy room, the simple act of breathing creates space so your feelings can move.

Breath with tenderness. With curiosity. You may even chose to notice how these feelings exist and move through your body.

Abide with compassion for yourself. Breathing in, experience what’s happening. Breathing out, experience what’s happening.

Keep practicing for as long as you like, staying present with the feeling tones and allowing them to change as they will.

Working with the breath in this way, you can learn to address all the facets of yourself with love and acceptance. You embrace yourself with compassion in spite of those things you’d like to change.

You can use this practice when you feel overcome by difficult emotions or in those first moments when shenpa arises. You can also wait, find yourself a safe space, and work with your breath as you bring the raw emotions to mind again.

The key is to remain free from the rigidity of aggression or denial. Abide in unconditional compassion. Let your mind be pliant. Recognize the magnificent, fluid being you truly are.

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{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Didi Pershouse February 20, 2010 at 10:38 pm

I love this photo. I’ve been sitting with difficult emotions all week, which finally broke a couple of days ago, only to be replaced by some new ones! (though these were a little more familiar). Off to meditate and sleep now. And to look for some soft places in myself.
love
didi

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2 Mahala Mazerov February 25, 2010 at 10:13 pm

Didi, so happy you love the photo. I keep looking out at my garden, covered with a fresh 8 inches of snow, and wonder when I’ll be able to photograph those iris again.

Sounds like you are in the midst of a major transition. I know you’ve been truly present with all that you’re feeling. Wishing you soft and peaceful places.
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3 susan February 20, 2010 at 11:41 pm

This is lovely reminder, thank you!

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4 Mahala Mazerov February 25, 2010 at 10:16 pm

You’re so welcome.
Yours is a lovely blog, too.
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5 virginia February 21, 2010 at 10:36 am

Dear Mahala,
I am still in away to get in my drive to read my mails.
These massage help me relax and put things in away.
I was in the morning at home but now I am working.
I have to make a new planning of my way of living.
This week I will have to visits for a two months.
I have ta develop self compassion for the up coming
days.
Thanks Mahala for this massage.
Virginia,

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6 Mahala Mazerov February 25, 2010 at 10:27 pm

Dear Virginia,
I’m always so happy to see your words here. We are so fortunate the internet lets us connect our hearts, even from so far away.
What are the new plans for your way of living?
Please hold yourself with compassion. I know you give it freely to so many others. Please give it to yourself, too.
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7 hazel colditz February 23, 2010 at 12:32 pm

mahala…
i used part of this meditation in my class for “young adults” past saturday…just beautiful! going to see “flourishingjudy” later tonite for her 50th celebration! will give her a hug from you!
love,
hazel
hazel colditz´s last blog ..One Day My ComLuv Profile

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8 Mahala Mazerov February 25, 2010 at 10:30 pm

I’m so excited that you used this for a young adults meditation class — both that you used this and that you’re leading a young adults class. Such a gift for them! Have you been teaching this for long?
Thanks for including me in Judy’s birthday celebrations. Hope it was fun for all. I missed your big 5-0 earlier this year, didn’t I?
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9 Magpie February 23, 2010 at 11:07 pm

Thank you for writing this :). I came across your blog tonight in my great search to read some fabulous female Buddhist thoughts, and this hit perfectly with what I’ve been struggling with and why all day I was trying to not sit…. Hope you don’t mind that I linked to it on my post today about that struggle.

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10 Mahala Mazerov February 25, 2010 at 10:37 pm

Your blog is wonderful. I’m so honored to be included there. Did you see my earlier post on women Buddhist bloggers? (scroll a bit) Some wonderful writers there. I’d like to add you to that list, too, if I may?

Struggling. Magpie dear, you always have to be ready to forgive yourself.
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11 Magpie February 25, 2010 at 11:39 pm

Thank you, I would be honored to be included in that list, I’m not sure my writings are worthy to be included in such fine company, but honored all the same.

In my heart I know that forgiving myself is key, but my mind sometimes gets the best of me, that inner voice tends to get a bit critical. Which is precisely why I need to sit, to face the struggle and not run from it. If I can’t forgive and practice full compassion with myself, then my heart isn’t truly as open as I think it is. I’m going on a short retreat tomorrow, I’m hoping I come home as a nicer person to myself.
Magpie´s last blog ..Vermont or Bust My ComLuv Profile

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12 carolyn February 25, 2010 at 9:28 pm

Mahala, thanks for breathing with us today.
carolyn´s last blog ..gibbous moon haiku My ComLuv Profile

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13 Col @ life by muse March 10, 2010 at 5:44 am

Mahala, this is so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so beautiful. Exactly in alignment with what I’ve been moving through recently. I used to want painful emotions to “go away” and recently I’ve been allowing them to exist and move through me rather than doing the pushing away thing. What a different, soft and subtle, experience. The other day I allowed in sadness. It only visited for a few minutes. Today I embraced frustration. So interesting to notice the things I think I “should not” feel.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me!

(Oh, that’s funny! Look at how I think you are sharing them with *me* alone! lol!)

Hugs,
Col
Col @ life by muse´s last blog ..Joy dances My ComLuv Profile

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14 Marguerite Manteau-Rao March 13, 2010 at 2:27 pm

Beautiful! The picture is enough.
Marguerite Manteau-Rao´s last blog ..In One Spot My ComLuv Profile

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15 hazel colditz March 16, 2010 at 11:06 am

g’day mahala! just checkin in…..have not heard from you in weeks? everything OK? thinking of you…hazel
hazel colditz´s last blog ..All You Need Is Love My ComLuv Profile

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16 Debra Masters July 30, 2010 at 4:04 pm

I found, in my life, that self-compassion is what I am learning last…but I am thankful I am finally learning it.
Debra Masters´s last blog ..LonelinessMy ComLuv Profile
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